Broken man
by LAIsobel
Summary: Set after season two finale as my heart can't bear it. Sorry Shonda but I need more and I need it now! Andy/Sullivan story. First Station 19 story of mine but hopefully I'm on the right track.
1. Maya

_So I know it's been ages. And I know those who have me on alert were hoping for some of my usual stories (you know what - and how - I mean right?). Sorry folks. I got totally hooked up to Station 19. I'm helping one Czech server to make Czech subtitles for the show so people here can watch it even without knowing English. And it just got me. And I kept on thinking about all the stories one can write. And after the second season finale it seems I can't take it anymore. So here we are – meaning me and my first Station 19 story. Sorry Shonda but I can't just wait till 2020 midseason to see how this is gonna end!_

**Andy/Sully** story with spoilers up to the season finale. Supposedly one shot but those of you who know me also know that my stories tend to have life of their own. So it could be a multichapter.

* * *

_**BROKEN MAN**_

Andy was walking home and she felt totally numb. It didn't make any sense but it was true. She felt numb. There was no anger, no pain, no frustration, nothing. She just kept on walking and walking and it took her almost two hours to get home. Her feet hurt and her eyes probably looked like she hadn't slept in days as she had to stop tears couple of times as she didn't want to embarrass herself on the street. Besides – she didn't cry. She just didn't.

When she got home she just kicked off her shoes and put her jacket on the hanger by the door. Dropping her bag by her shoes she just walked into her room and lied down. She was exhausted.

She tried to replay it all in her head to see what could have happened but she had no idea. And it was actually making her very mad. And yet there was no energy in her to spend. Burying her head in her pillow she let the tears fall. What was it? Anguish? Fear? Pain? She wasn't sure.

He told her to go. He… just like that. He told her to go. To go. She went to lock the door and in those couple of seconds something had to happen. Did he change his mind? Did she do something? Did she say something?

Andy wanted to understand but couldn't. She probably should have asked more questions back there but she was so shocked and so hurt that she could only walk away. She even forgot her belt someplace on his floor where he had dropped it earlier.

What she felt when she was with him was new and different. And it didn't made sense. So she did the one thing she could think of – she stopped thinking. She just acted, followed her instincts and her … she wasn't ready to think along the lines "follow my heart" or so but it was close. Something about him was so… nothing apparently.

She was ready to throw something against the wall. It was a shame her shift was starting in the morning the next day. They were all off rotation due to their trip to L.A. She could so use some call where she could tear down a wall. On the other hand… she didn't have the energy for it. Not really.

She just couldn't understand and that was the worst for her. He didn't explain. He was kissing her – and he was good at it, oh boy who would have thought. He was touching her. They were laughing together and it gave her peace. It wasn't some heat-of-the-moment-make-out. It was more. For both of them. Or so she believed. When he moaned, whispered her name into her ear, she was losing it in a way she couldn't quite grasp. Perhaps it was just the thrill of doing something she shouldn't – well sleeping with her boss is definitely a no. But well after all they've been through he was so much more than just her boss.

Her fingers still tingled – the moment he lost his t-shirt and she touched his bare chest something in her went wild. He was so tall and lean and … he was muscular and strong and yet his skin felt so soft when she touched him. She became addicted the moment her fingertips touched his chest. She felt his muscles flex under her touch. It was so exciting.

And he sent her away.

Andy just stayed in bed and her mind couldn't understand a thing. How was she going to go to work tomorrow? What was she going to do? How would he react? Would he talk to her? Ignore her? Aaaargh. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Before she could actually come to any conclusions she heard Maya coming home. At first she wanted to pretend she was asleep but her friend knew her very well and would know the truth.

"You wouldn't believe how awkward this brunch was. The Nikki Miller is dating? Andy? You here?" Maya called her friend and noticed her shoes and bag.

"Andy?" She called again and walked to her friend's room. She found her lying on the bed looking devastated. In a second she forgot all about her weird brunch.

"Hey… what's wrong?" Maya asked and Andy couldn't keep more tears from falling down her cheeks. There goes her poker face. Maya watched her silently and lied down onto the bed with her, facing her, watching her, waiting for her to say something.

"What about your brunch?" Andy asked and Maya smiled. Okay so she could give her this.

"Miller's Nikki is actually my ex Nicole." She said.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Now that had to be one awkward brunch." Andy said with a sympathetic smile.

"You have no idea… And I will give you all the details later." Maya told her and Andy smiled at her.

"So will you tell me who did this to you so I can get him and make him pay?"

Andy knew it was coming and was trying to come up with some excuse. She wasn't really ready to tell Maya. But then she realized how it all had been between them after she had found out about Maya and Jack. And she knew what she had to do. But it was hard to form a sentence that would make some sense.

"He told me to go."

"Who? Where?" Maya didn't understand.

"He was sitting on the bed half naked and I went to lock the door and then he told me to go." Andy said and Maya needed a moment to think.

"Half naked? Okay now you have to tell me everything." Maya said beaming up on her friend. Andy actually smiled. And yawned.

"You're tired."

"Yeah. I've been walking for hours and I'm exhausted." Andy replied.

"Walking for hours? Okay enough girl. Who was it? Who hurt you so much you actually spent hours walking?"

Andy kept her eyes closed. Maya waited. And then Andy's phone starting to buzz on the nightstand and Maya reached for it to hand it over to her. She risked a glance at the display. It was Sullivan. Maya noticed three missed calls already and guessed those were from the mysterious guy. Andy took the phone, kept on staring at it but didn't pick up. She wasn't ready to face him – not even over the phone. When it went to her voicemail, she put the phone down and looked at her best friend. Maya put the two and two together. And she couldn't wrap her head around it.

"No. Way."

"Maya…."

"Now I have a very vivid image of Sullivan half naked on a bed in my head." She said and couldn't keep the grin from her face.

"Maya!" Andy tried again.

"So…"

"So what?"

"Details! I need details. Every single juicy detail." Maya sounded excited and it made Andy smile despite feeling all those weird sad feelings.

"You're not mad." She stated surprisingly.

"I'm not mad." Maya confirmed. "Ever since I saw you two holding hands in the hospital I've had this feeling… "

"I didn't lie to you when I said there was nothing between us. I swear." Andy jumped in.

"And I believe you."

"You do?"

"I do. So what changed? What happened? How did it happen? When did it happen?" Maya was shooting questions one by one and Andy was actually glad. She needed to get it out of her chest. After confirming it was about Robert she felt like all those emotions and thoughts were crushing her and it felt so good to tell her best friend.

"What changed? We faced death together again."

"Oookay. So what happened exactly?" Maya prompted.

"In L.A. when we jumped into the pool together to stay clear of the fire, I was scared. I really thought we would either burn alive or drown. I… I held onto him and he…"

"He what?" Maya tried not to look too excited but this was just too good. And seeing her friend so worked up about a man? That was actually priceless. And no, she wasn't trying to be mean. But she had THIS feeling about them. And she couldn't wait for more.

"He touched my face and made me look at him and the way he was looking at me, I felt so calm suddenly and so sure and despite all I felt safe." Andy said and refused to think about the warm feeling spreading through her chest just by thinking about that moment.

"That's way too cheesy." Maya said and sounded disgusted. But she kept on smiling and smiling. Besides she watched the soft smile on her friend's face while she remembered.

"And for the rest, well while you all left this morning he came to me and wanted to explain what happened in that pool. And I wanted to talk to him about it too. At least I think."

"So what did he say?"

"Nothing. He asked me what I wanted and so…"

"You jumped him." Maya offered and Andy threw a pillow at her. "And let me guess. Captain's bunk." Maya winked at her.

"Yeah, my belt is still somewhere in there. As my dignity." Andy said and sounded disappointed.

"He really didn't say anything?"

"No. I thought everything was okay. It was more than okay. It was… damn." And the frustration was back. "I just went to lock the damn door. I stood by the damn door and for a moment thought I should walk away but I stopped thinking and just did it. I locked the damn door!"

"Yeah I get it. And you got back to him and he sent you away."

"You get it? I don't."

"I get you. Not him." Maya clarified. They were both sitting now and Andy still looked worn out.

"Can I ask you something?" Maya asked after a moment.

"Yeah." Andy replied knowing that her secret was safe with her best friend. As it always has been.

"Was it just because of the near death experience or is there more going on?"

"I wish I knew…" Andy replied.

"So there is more." Maya said and Andy glared at her. "Don't look at me like that. If it was just about sex you wouldn't look like this."

"What if I am just worried about my career? About the station?"

"And are you?"

"I don't know."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to listen to that voicemail?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to call him back?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to pick up if he calls again?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I. Don't. Know." Andy replied and Maya looked sympathetically at her. Both lied back to bed and rested.

"Now tell me about the brunch." Andy said and Maya knew it was her turn to share a story about this morning.

* * *

Not too far, back at the Station, Captain Sullivan was beyond angry. Angry at his leg. Angry at himself. He hated himself. He hated his leg. And he hated the fact that he just spoiled something that meant a lot to him. Well at first he didn't know what it all meant but when he saw Andy's face, how hurt and sad she looked and when he heard the door closing behind her, he knew that whatever it was, it meant a lot to him. And that he just spoiled it.

His leg suddenly gave out when Andy left to lock the door. There was a sharp pain and then there was nothing. And he hated that nothing. It reminded him all too much about all the nothing he felt back in the ambulance in the windstorm.

He panicked. He simply panicked. And screwed up. Instead of telling her he told her to go. It was a self-preservation thing. He wasn't used to getting help, he wasn't used to having friends he could lean on. He was used to being alone for everything, all the time. And so when it actually mattered, he destroyed something that could have very well changed his life.

He couldn't describe what he felt for Andrea Herrera but he knew how well he felt when she was around. Their path wasn't easy but it gave him a lot of perspective and he wouldn't change it. Except for this. When he realized he should have called her name and tried to explain it was too late.

His mind raced through all the moments they shared, about all their dinners and coffees and workouts and about all those looks and touches. When he closed his eyes his senses were overwhelmed – he could still feel the warmth of her skin under his touch, her soft curves and how perfectly she fit into him, he could still hear her moaning when he kissed her neck. And he could still hear her laughter when they stumbled through the door. She could have walked away, she could have changed her mind. But she didn't. She wanted him and judging by what he knew about her she wouldn't act like that just because she needed to get her mind off of a near-death experience.

It was more to her and it was a lot more to him. Till he destroyed it by being a coward. Briefly he thought about Luke and what he would tell him at this moment probably. Especially after the few talks they had about him and Hughes. Luke would laugh and smile and then take him out for a beer and he would let him talk. He would probably understand his feelings better than himself. And he would tease him. But Luke was dead and he was alone in the mess. And he was the only one to blame.

As he couldn't really move he sat on the bed and tried to think of a way how to fix this. He just needed to fix this. He couldn't bear the alternative. He knew they would be okay at work – but back in the beginning. Or maybe not even there. And he didn't want that. He didn't want the strict professional cold relationship they had before.

Damn.

When he could finally move again he put his t-shirt back on and went to retrieve his phone. He noticed Andy's belt on the floor and picked it up. Folding it in his palms he traced the lines of the sewing and finally put it into a drawer in his table. Nobody needed to see it there.

Picking up his phone he tried calling her without having the slightest idea about what he would tell her should she pick up the phone. But she didn't. He tried again in ten minutes. And in another ten. And she didn't pick up. Putting his head into his hands he sighed and felt like somebody had just punched him in the gut. The force of those those feelings surprised him.

But he knew he had another call to make.

"Hey doc, it's Robert Sullivan." He had to call his doctor and schedule an appointment. His leg gave up on him and it shocked him and he destroyed something beautiful because of it. If he was about to fix it with Andy, he had to know where he stood. Literally. Luckily his doctor at Grey Sloan was a good one and she just told him to come in an hour when her shift starts. She would see him right away and she understood how important and yet difficult this had to be for him.

She asked him not to drive which made him realize all the more why this was so important. Right now he was a Captain of Station 19 and he was unfit for duty. And as a dark bonus he hurt someone he cared about very much.

Well – he wasn't sure how much yet – but a lot.

He tried calling Andy one more time just before he had to leave for the hospital. And it went to voicemail. This time he left a message. And with heavy heart he walked to the bus station to get to the hospital in time. He was about to have a hard day.

* * *

_Ha so in the end here we are, chapter one is done and chapter two already in progress. Nothing unusual :D_


	2. Travis

„So Robert, I have some good news and bad news."

"I'm listening." He replied and watched his doc carefully as she stood before him.

"So the bad first?"

"Okay. Shoot."

"I wouldn't recommend you getting back to active duty now. Or better said you can do desk job and be at the station but I really don't want to see you on calls. Or climbing any ladders or so. Also think about reducing driving. Just as a precaution."

"I agree."

"You do? Wow. No arguing about being a man who can handle it all?" She asked with a smile.

"I'm way past that." He replied and she nodded. It was obviously killing him but at least he was being reasonable.

"Good. I'm glad."

"So now the good news please, doctor."

"Eager to get out of here?"

"Yeah, I have one important thing to deal with." He said and she noticed how he kept on glancing at his phone. She had to smile. It seemed one of her favourite patients had one important lady somewhere. It actually made her happy. She spent a lot of time with him when she treated him after the accident and got to know him quite well. He wasn't really an open book but he was a good man and it was way past time for him to find some happiness. She knew all about his wife and how his family turned their backs on him. He didn't deserve to be all alone.

"So I scheduled you for couple of tests. The usual, you've been through them all before. I need to know about your knee joint, about your neuropaths, about your ligaments, everything. So the usual, EMG, X-Ray, ultrasound, extensive bloodwork and once we have all that I might also consider some more."

"That's part of the good or the bad?" He only half joked.

"The good. Because right now I can't find anything wrong. You said you kicked a locked door."

"Yeah, I did. But it didn't budge and my knee hurt a bit."

"So maybe that kick blocked a neuropath in your leg and it takes time for them to regenerate."

"So?"

"So you don't need to worry right now. I'm going to give you a prescription; it's just a little support so your leg can heal after kicking locked door. It won't hurt you no matter what the results say."

"That doesn't sound that bad." He felt actually relieved.

"You make sure to be here to your scheduled appointments. And once I get all the results we'll talk again."

"Okay. And if it happens again?"

"Then you call me and we will fix you."

"Thank you, doc." He said and she smiled at him genuinely.

"You're welcome. You can change now and I'll get everything ready for you."

"All right."

"And Robert, would you mind if I showed your case to a colleague? I'd like to know another opinion on your results given the circumstances."

"No problem." He agreed not really seeing why not.

She nodded her thanks and left him to change. He took a deep breath. He had a lot to do. And no idea how to do it. But sitting there in that horrible hospital gown made him realize that no matter the cost he needed to fix it with Andy. He owed her at least an explanation and apology. He was actually rather sure that it wouldn't be enough but it was a start.

And maybe, just maybe she would give him a second chance. And he would not blow that one. Or so he hoped. If there even could be a second chance. For one time in his life he had no idea where he stood with a woman. Not after recent events. He felt so unsure about himself it was pathetic. He was a grown man for God's sake!

* * *

Back at her home Andy held her phone in her hand and was fighting an inner battle. She wanted to hear the message and she wanted to delete it. She wanted to know what he said and yet she didn't want to hear a single word. She wanted to go to his place and made him talk and she didn't want to ever see him again.

How old was she? Fourteen?

In the time she had with Maya and alone she realized that she might have started to actually care about Robert Sullivan in a very personal way. She still didn't know how exactly it happened but it obviously did. And it shook her to her core. Wow. How that could happen? When? Why? What the hell?

"Are you going to finally hear that voicemail?"

Andy looked at Maya who just came out from her room, showered and dressed in casual home-y comfortable clothes. The doorbell rang and so she went there to open it. It was food delivery. Maya paid for the take-out and took it to the table so they could eat. Andy came to her as she knew Maya loved her couch too much to let her eat on it. They both opened the boxes and the perfect smell of Italian food filled the room.

"I don't know." Andy replied.

"What's going on in your head?" Maya asked, curious.

"A lot."

"No kidding."

"I'm trying to analyze it but it's a mess."

"Relationships are messy." Maya said and reached for some broccoli pasta.

"We're not in a relationship!" Andy argued, her mouth filled with a piece of a meatball and tomato sauce.

"But it's a mess." Maya used her words against her and Andy glared at her with what she hoped was a one-more-word-and-you-are-dead look.

"Okay okay... so let me ask you something. Do you want to forget about it all or do you want to find out and..."

"And what?"

"And maybe give him a chance to, I don't know, apologize?"

Andy stopped eating and started to think. Could she go back and pretend nothing ever happened? Could she face him every day knowing how good it felt to be with him and pretend? Could she? Was she strong enough to bury it all? Or could she face him and ... be Andy again instead of Herrera?

She resumed eating her food and her mind was racing. He had asked her back in the morning about what she wanted. That was a good question. What did she want? Did she want to forget or did she want to give it a try?

"So listen to that voicemail already." Maya interrupted her trail of thoughts and Andy looked at Maya and nodded. She put down her fork and food and took a deep breath.

"I'm gonna go as you should be alone for this. There are things I don't need to know about my Captain."

Andy smiled at her gratefully and when Maya left to watch some TV, Andy dialled the number she needed to listen to her voicemail.

"_Andy, hi, it's me. I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now. I just wish... ah damn, I don't really know what to say. I screwed up and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'd like to explain. If you let me of course. You don't... I... I wish you picked up the phone. I guess I'll wait if you call me back. Okay, bye. Oh and... oh and Andy, I'm an idiot." _

The message ended with a beep and Andy held her phone in her hand and didn't really know what to think. She was not some lovesick teenager and could deal with her emotions. And with men. She wouldn't just pretend nothing happened. Something did happen. And she didn't want to let it go. But she wasn't prepared to pretend everything was okay between them either.

He sounded nervous and he was finding words with strange difficulty. It showed her another side of the man she knew as a Captain and a friend. Robert Sullivan could get nervous when it was personal. And this was personal. She knew it was.

Of course that tomorrow at work they would be okay – as they had to – but she was far from okay now. One part of her wanted to let it all go but then she remembered Vic and the Chief. She remembered the old couple in L.A. She remembered her own father and knew that sometimes one had to take a step back and sometimes meet the other half-way. She wasn't ready to give up on this. So she dialled his number and with a lump in her throat waited.

* * *

Sullivan was outside the hospital waiting for a bus, determined to go and see Andy. He would just try knocking on her door. There was a risk of facing Bishop instead but he hoped that wouldn't happen. He knew those two were best friends so there was a big chance Bishop already knew. Herrera was probably so mad at him she just paced around the living room telling Bishop everything.

Well no that wasn't fair. From what he knew Andy has never betrayed anything that happened between them. Nobody knew about his family, not till he was ready to tell them himself. The team from 19 didn't about all the take-outs and dinners and coffees they had together. They didn't know about all the late night work-outs when they couldn't sleep and met at the Station. They had no idea about those long walks they took talking and talking when they accidentally met somewhere and just didn't hurry back home.

And he was pretty sure she hasn't told anyone about the time when he lied in bed motionless, with all the whooshing and beeping around him, when he cried in fear he wouldn't walk again, as she came to him with her IV pole and sat down next to him, held his hand and offered the only support she could. They never brought it up and never talked about it. But they both had the memory. Bittersweet memory.

When the nurse came in couple hours she wasn't happy to find Andy there with him and escorted her away into her own room. And in the morning Sullivan sent a note to Andy. Hand written note. He asked her not to come again. He asked her to give him time so he wouldn't be a broken man. He thanked her for everything and wished her quick recovery.

Little he knew Andy still had that note. And he also didn't know that she wrote a reply that day but was too scared to send it to him. He was glad she never came again till he was partially moving around. She would call sometimes about something work-related and they talked about anything and everything. But the first time they actually met after all that time face to face was at her apartment at the party. She told him over the phone but didn't even think he would show up.

But he did – and surprised the entire crew. But she welcomed him and they had a good time and he even talked to other people. Yeah well it was awkward at first. But he got over it. And that day his better days started. Talking more to his team was good. And now in retrospective he was grateful. The life he had now was much better than the one he had before. And he knew that without Andy he wouldn't be where he was.

Before the bus arrived his phone rang. He was a bit surprised to see it was Seattle PD but he picked up. And half of him regretted it right away.

So instead of taking a bus to Andy's place he took the other way and found himself at the PD station.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Robert Sullivan, I got a call about one of my men being taken to custody. Travis Montgomery."

"Oh, sure, just wait here, please." The policeman said and so he waited in the area by the reception. Soon another policeman came to see him.

"Captain Sullivan?"

"Yes."

"Nice to meet you, Sir. I'm Sergeant Crane. Come with me please."

And so he did. And he took him into what looked like an interrogation room. They both sat down and Sullivan waited.

"Travis Montgomery asked to call you to inform you about the situation. So thank you for coming."

"So what is his situation?"

And so the Sergeant explained everything and Sullivan could feel giant headache coming. This was not good. Not at all. He waited patiently and took in all the information the Sergeant was willing to share. And finally by the end of the conversation he got a chance to talk to Montgomery.

When they brought him in cuffs he looked devastated. They left them alone. And Montgomery just sat there defeated and had no words.

"Well... It doesn't look good, Montgomery."

"I know, Sir. And it's my fault."

"Well you started a bar fight."

"I didn't mean to."

"What has gotten into you? You normally don't drink that much and you certainly never fight."

"I know."

"Look, you called me and I'm glad. And I'm willing to help you anyway I can. But you need to tell me everything." Sullivan said and Travis looked him and had to think for a moment. Could he trust him?

"Back before the funeral Vic told me I was the one in denial. About Michael. And she was right. So I finally took off his ring and let it all go. And I had a couple of beers and shots and Warren wanted to take me home but I refused."

"And then you got into a bar fight with Jeremy Heffington."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because of Vic." Montgomery finally gave in and told him.

"Hughes?" Sullivan didn't understand. Montgomery nodded and tried to put it together in his head so it would all make sense. Before he could say something Sullivan's phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and saw Andy's name on it. He desperately wanted to pick up but instead he put the phone down and looked back at Montgomery.

"You look like you want to take that call, that it's important."

"It is. But you are too. So. Hughes?" He said and knew he did the right thing as Montgomery released a deep breath. He just wished Andy would understand.

"Back in the hospital when Vic went to see the Chief, people were talking. Especially Heffington said some things that he shouldn't."

"Okay, I get that. And in the bar?"

"We started to talk and he continued with those. He had no respect for Vic and the Chief and he was just an ass. I told him to stop it and I wanted to leave."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because he asked me if I was sleeping with her too and if he... Well you get the picture."

"So you punched him."

"Yes."

"Because you were drunk."

"Yes."

"And because you were defending your best friend." Sullivan added and Montgomery looked shocked when he heard that. He didn't expect the Captain to see that point.

"I highly doubt she would appreciate it though." Travis said instead.

"Well..."

"It's bad I know."

"It is. But it's not over. I know someone who could maybe help us. Can I call him?"

"You would?"

"You asked for my help. So I might at least try to help you."

"Thank you, Sir. Really."

"Will you be okay here?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll manage."

"What about others? Do you want me to tell them?"

"Yeah, go ahead. But Vic..." Travis worried.

"I'll deal with Hughes. Where is she?"

"At home. Her home. For the first time. She fell asleep so when the doorbell rang I went to open it thinking it was food delivery. Instead of ramen I got cuffs."

"Okay."

Sullivan stopped by the Sergeant on his way to ask couple more questions and then left. How was it possible the day was getting worse and worse?


	3. Vic

„So?" Maya asked Andy, curious.

"Nothing, he didn't pick up."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"I feel stupid." Andy said and leaving the table she sat down next to Maya on the couch.

"He called four times already. He's gonna call once he sees the missed call from you." Maya tried to offer some comfort to her friend.

"You don't need to do this."

"What?"

"This. It's not like I'm some broken-hearted damsel in distress."

"I never said you were." Maya said and smiled at her obviously frustrated friend. Andy regarded her for a moment.

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"No."

"Oh yes, you are."

"Well, maybe a bit." Maya admitted.

"You're supposed to be my friend."

"Oh I am. I was with you through your relationship with Jack. I was with you whenever Ryan was in the picture. And I am with you now."

"Did you have to put it like that? Now I feel… cheap."

"Oh come on, you know you're not. You had feelings for both Jack and Ryan. Sort of."

"Well thank you." Andy said mockingly, only half smiling.

"But even though it was pretty serious between you and Jack you have never been like this."

"Like what?"

"Like broken-hearted damsel in distress." Maya said with laughter in her voice and soon Andy started to laugh as well. It felt good to laugh.

"Thank you. For being my friend." Andy said and Maya just smiled. That feeling was mutual.

"It's going to be okay. Either way you'll see each other tomorrow and you can talk."

"Yeah."

"Or you don't want to?" Maya asked.

"No, I want to. I want to know what happened."

"And you would lose your pants without your belt." Maya said and Andy smacked her arm playfully and they laughed again.

Maya's phone rang. It was Gibson. She excused herself and took the call.

Andy watched her friend smile her megawatt smile and knew that she was happy with Jack. Happy in a way she couldn't. She was glad those two found each other. It was still a bit weird but it was getting better. They challenged each other in a way that gave me a lot of new energy.

She remembered Sullivan's totally shocked face when she stormed into his office needing to vent the frustration about finding out about those two. How surprised he was to find out she used to date Gibson. Thinking about it now she'd say he was half curious and a little bit jealous. Or she was imagining things.

He didn't even protest that day about her storming in, rambling and storming out. He just let her do it and never brought it up.

Tomorrow seemed to be too far away. She needed to get some sleep and she needed to turn her mind off. But she was overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. She wasn't used to this. It was somehow new. Maybe she could go for a walk.

Maya came back before she could make up her mind about what to do.

"So, weird day gets even weirder."

"How?"

"Your half naked almost lover just called Gibson and told him Montgomery was taken into custody. The guy he punched pressed charges." Maya said and ignored the glare from Andy. Oh it was fun when she could tease her like this.

"And?"

"Sullivan apparently went to see him and got him a lawyer. He wants us all to meet for dinner today in the beanery to tell us more. Jack said Sullivan was on his way to Hughes now."

Andy didn't understand what the hell was going on. But perhaps she had her answer now as to why he wasn't picking up his phone. If he was with Travis…

"Did you just say dinner in the beanery?" Andy asked.

"Weird huh? I can't even imagine it. Does he even know where beanery is?" Maya asked and walked away leaving Andy alone with her thoughts. Again.

Looking at her phone Andy was thinking about at least writing him. But Jack said he was on his way to Hughes. So it would probably be pointless anyway. It just felt weird meeting him with everyone else in there. She closed her eyes for a moment to think.

She couldn't do this. Why did he had to send her away? Bah.

When Maya came to the living room, dressed up to leave so she could grab a quick coffee with Gibson before the meeting, she found Andy asleep on the couch. So exhaustion finally caught up with her. She set her alarm so she wouldn't be late for the dinner, covered her with the afghan they kept on the couch and left silently.

Maya couldn't keep the smile from her face. Andy might not know it yet but to her it was obvious. Maybe it was the near- death experience that brought those two together but it was more than just that connecting them. At first she didn't see it. She wasn't even looking to be fair. Then Ryan asked "how long has that been going on?" in the hospital and she realized how little she paid attention to her friend. She was so wrapped up in her own little bubble she totally missed everything else.

And slowly things were coming back to her after that revelation. Little things Andy mentioned, little things she saw, little things she heard. And all of those together painted an image. Image of her best friend finding someone that could very well change her life. Andy was usually easy-going friendly woman who didn't have a problem with sharing parts of her life with other people. But when Sullivan came they all disliked him. And they had their reasons.

It was so difficult to like that guy. But Andy offered to take the Aid car in the windstorm so she could impress Ripley. And it got her into that horrible accident. But maybe things happened for a reason. And now… now her friend looked like a kicked puppy.

Sullivan did try to reach out to them, he was just … well he was so closed off that it was impossible for them to take him in. And after the skyscraper they all had issues and getting a new Captain was just the sour cherry on top.

Maybe Andy was the only one who had the courage to do something, maybe it was her nature or maybe it was her gut telling her he was worth the try. But she made him open up. He changed after the accident. And now it wasn't that difficult to see him as a type of man that could be both a good friend and a good Captain. Despite what she originally thought, he was a good Captain to them all and he was part of the 19.

But then today happened. Half naked Sullivan telling Andy to leave. Maya couldn't imagine that. Not that she had any interest in how her Captain looked half naked but she was sure with all the workout he did – quite often with Andy – he wasn't that bad to look at. She really didn't understand what happened. Why would any man…? Well she wasn't about to crack that.

* * *

Sullivan was walking on the path to Hughes' front there when somebody called from the next door. It was some older lady. She had a bag in her hand.

"Are you coming to see Victoria?"

"Oh, yes, I am."

"Can you give this to her? She wasn't answering the door so the food delivery boy left it with me." The lady said with a smile.

"Oh, sure, yeah I'll give it to her."

"Thank you, young man." The lady said and closed the door behind her. So Sullivan found himself on the porch with bag full of food in his hand. Well, why not. When was the last time anyone called him young man? He had to smile.

He rang the bell and after couple of minutes – and two more tries – Hughes came. She was more than just surprised to see him there.

"Captain?"

"Sorry to bother, Hughes."

"Uhm, it's okay. Sorry, is that my food?" She noticed the bag in his hand.

"Yeah. Your neighbor just gave it to me. She said you weren't answering your door."

"I fell asleep. Where the hell is Montgomery anyway?" Vic asked and looked around, confused and sleepy.

"Hughes?"

"Yes?" She stopped and looked at him.

"Can I come in? I have something important to tell you." He said and judging by the tone of his voice she let him in. He handed her the food and she disappeared into the kitchen. In a minute she was back with two cups of coffee and so they sat down.

"So, what brings you by?" She said and sipped her coffee.

"Actually it's Montgomery." He said and told her the whole story – or what he knew. She listened patiently but by the end started to pace the living room.

"That idiot. Why did he have to get so drunk?"

"Well it was his first night without a ring."

"Yeah, he told me. But still." She stopped for a moment and looked at her Captain.

"Look, he slipped. It happens." He told her and there was no trace of hard feelings in him.

"But he did it because of me." She argued back.

"Hughes, should there be any of us at his place, that guy would get punched anyway." He told her and she stopped dead in her tracks, fully understanding what he meant. Her emotions were still too raw so she had to blink back tears.

"I'm just worried about him."

"Well his lawyer is with him now. And I called everyone. We're meeting for dinner in the beanery at the station. I will tell them this and we will see what happens and what we can do." He offered and she nodded.

"Thank you, Sir. For helping him."

"No need to thank me, Hughes." He said and after an awkward silent moment he got up and was about to leave.

"You know, Lucas said you were the best friend he could have ever hoped for."

He turned around and faced her. "No, I wasn't. I wasted too much time being angry at him. I moved away when I should have stayed."

"He told me." She said and he acknowledged it. Of course he told her, given the nature of their relationship.

"I'm gonna miss him." Sully said and knew Vic would understand better than anyone.

"Yeah, me too." Vic said sadly, hating the tears she felt in her eyes. "But he was right about you. And I am sorry I misjudged you. You're a good man, Captain."

And he knew he should say something but he couldn't. He certainly didn't expect to hear this. Now he was the one at loss of words.

"Thank you." He replied and after taking a deep breath he asked "So I'll see you at the dinner?"

"You're actually going to have dinner with us?" Vic asked, smiling at him, curious.

"Bad idea?" Sullivan asked unsure if he was making the right decision.

"Quite the opposite, Sir." She smiled at him and he, grateful for that honesty, smiled back at her. Leaving her door he only hoped she was right. He wasn't so sure himself.

On his way to the bus – he couldn't remember when he had to use the buses this often for the last time – he tried to call Warren but he wasn't picking up. Well, after the oral test at Medic One today he was probably celebrating.

Sully checked the time. Was it too late to come and see Andy before the dinner?

He dialed her number and when it kept on ringing he was losing hope. It dropped to voicemail again and the pain he felt in his chest spoke volumes.

He hadn't realized it before. He knew Andrea Herrera was becoming one of his closest friends. He knew he could be open with her. He knew she would always be there and always tell him what was on her mind. She challenged him. She made him see the better in people. She made him do things he missed and thought would never do again. She helped his broken heart to heal and she wasn't even trying to do that. He respected her as a friend, colleague, as a woman.

He needed to talk to her. But how? His mind was racing and he was none the wiser than before. Right now he needed a friend to kick him into the right direction. It's been so long since he…

His phone rang but it wasn't Andy. It was Montgomery's lawyer. So he picked up the phone and they talked. He would stop by at the station as he had something to tell them all.

Sully knew that given the time he would spend on bus he had to head to the station instead of to Andy's place. He needed to make another call and knew that one would be unpleasant – at least for him. He had to call his boss to inform him about his health issues.

Arriving to the Station he felt strange. But he promised himself he would try harder and so he did. He ordered pizza for everyone, noticing a list of preferences in the beanery for pizza, Thai, Italian, Mexican… he had a lot to learn it seemed. At first he wanted to change into his uniform but decided against it. They were not on duty till morning. He could stay in his civvies.

Gibson, Miller and Bishop were first to arrive and when they noticed him standing on the bridge in his civvies they looked at each other nervously. He just nodded at them so he didn't have to yell over the whole place and they walked upstairs. He joined them soon and found them in the middle of conversation. Before he figured out how to be part of that conversation Hughes came.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Vic.

"Sir. Glad you made it." She told him and he smiled at her thankfully. "Any news about the guys that got hurt in L.A.?" She asked.

"All but one are out of the woods." Sullivan replied and suddenly they were all talking, taking off their jackets, he watched them prepare napkins and drinks and realized that unlike him they were used to this.

"Any news on Warren?" Gibson asked.

"And where's Herrera?" Miller added.

"Andy fell asleep in the afternoon. I set her alarm so hopefully she'll be here soon." Maya said not looking at her Captain. She would give him time before making it obvious she knew exactly where his mind was.

"I didn't hear from Warren. I called but he wasn't picking up." Sullivan told them and they shrugged.

"I texted him." Miller added.

Right then Sullivan's phone rang and he looked at it. He picked up.

"Yes? – Oh hello, Sir. How did it go today? Everything okay? –- What do you mean? -– Yes, yes I was there and –- No, Sir. -– No, you listen to me, Sir. He did the right thing. Without doing that the man would have died. -– Yes, I know he didn't fully follow to guidelines but the situation was extreme and he had to make a decision. And he did the right one. He saved that man's life. – Yes, I understand. But with ever due respect, you're making a big mistake. - Of course I mean that. When was the last time you were in a firestorm and had to make such decision, Sir? - Ben Warren is one my best people and you're not in your right mind if you think I'll let you destroy his career over this."

Sullivan was on the phone and moment by moment he looked more and more angry and his voice was stronger and stronger. At first his crew wasn't paying attention but soon they all stopped what they were doing. He walked over to the window and focused on the call so he totally missed both Warren and Andy coming to the beanery.

When he ended his call he was furious.

"Sir?" Gibson asked and watched the tension in Sullivan. He still stood facing the window.

"That was the Medical Director from Medic One."

"I take it didn't go well?"

"No, it didn't." Warren answered instead of Sullivan. He turned around and found him watching him. "Sir, what was that about?" He asked.

"Well if he thinks he's gonna get you for saving that man's life he'll have to go through me." He replied and Warren nodded, grateful.

"Warren what happened?" Maya asked worriedly. "Was that about your interview?"

"Yeah. When I came there he started to question what happened in L.A. And not just that. He went over my entire career as a surgeon and a firefighter. He did his homework. He totally got me. I spent couple of hours there and in the end he told me I was not a Medic One material plus he also added I shouldn't be allowed to work as a firefighter or as a surgeon as I'm a cowboy with no respect to rules and guidelines." Warren said and everyone looked totally shocked.

"You're kidding."

"No. And thank you, Sir. For what you said." Warren told Sullivan.

"It's not over, Warren." Sullivan replied but they both knew that the door to Medic One just closed.

"Enough about me, what's going on? Miller sent me a text to meet you guys here."

Before Sullivan could answer his phone rang. It was the pizza delivery.

"Well I'm gonna get our food and then we can talk." He said a bit more at ease than before. And only then he noticed Andy standing there by the corner, watching him, not saying anything.

"Do you need any help?" Maya asked as she noticed the two watching each other, not moving. It was a split of moment, just a second, but she noticed. And she knew others would notice soon too. And they didn't need to know. Not yet.

"I'm good, Bishop, thanks." He said and walked away to get their pizzas.

Downstairs just as he paid for the food – as it was his idea and his first real dinner with the crew here – Montgomery's lawyer came. So he took him upstairs to meet the team.


	4. Mark

When Sullivan left they all were silent. News about Warren hit them all. He waved it off but it was clear to everyone that it wasn't easy at all to go through that. They knew how hard he studied, how hard he worked to make it. And although it was against the protocols they knew, they all knew he did save the man's life by doing what he did. He didn't deserve what came upon him now.

Maya looked at Andy but she just shrugged and went over to the fridge to get something to drink. It was not the time – and not the place. This was about Montgomery now.

Just a couple of minutes later Sullivan came carrying pizza boxes. Miller with Gibson helped him and when they put the boxes on the table and opened them, they were surprised.

"You ordered our favorite pizzas?" Miller asked.

"Thanks, Captain." Bishop smiled at him.

"Sit down people. Let me introduce you someone." Sullivan said without commenting on the pizzas and they all sat down. There was a man next to him in a suit.

"I've got this, thanks." The man said and continued: "I'm Mark Sullivan, I'm your friend's lawyer. I just talked to him and he asked me to let you all in on the information." He sounded pleasant.

"Sullivan as in name coincidence, Sir?" Gibson asked with curiosity.

"Oh no, he's my brother." Sullivan said and they were all speechless.

"Robbie called and told me about your friend, so here I am." Mark said and caught the stunned look of others.

"Come on, don't call me Robbie." Sullivan pleaded.

"You'll always be Robbie to me." Mark replied and was actually enjoying the embarrassment on his brother's face. Sullivan tried not to look at his people but they were all watching him very intensively.

"Mark…" He warned.

"Get used to it, little brother. There's no way I'll ever forget Robbie the Rider." And at that Warren didn't make it and burst out laughing.

"Did you just say…" He tried to ask but couldn't. And Mark didn't miss a beat.

"He was four and had this cowboy costume on Halloween and insisted on being called Robbie the Rider."

"And I don't suppose you have a photo, huh?" Gibson asked as he burst out laughing too.

"No, he doesn't." Sullivan said a bit desperate. And in two seconds they all were laughing as they saw the friendly banter between the two brothers. Sullivan looked at them and just threw his hands into the air in surrender. But he could have anticipated it when he asked his older brother to help Montgomery. And if he was serious about getting closer to his people, he could give them this.

Andy was the last one who tried to hold it together. He looked at her and noticed.

"Let it out Herrera." He said, not even trying to pretend he was offended anymore. And he hoped his voice didn't betray him.

"I'm just thinking it's good Conlin doesn't know about this. He might stop calling you Montana then." She said and another round of laughter erupted around the table. This time with her as well. Sullivan spent another few seconds watching her and refused to acknowledge how it warmed his heart to hear her laugh. He had to force himself to look away then.

"Montana?" Mark asked.

"It's a long story." Andy said and smiled apologetically at Sullivan.

Soon they all calmed down and looked at Mark. Fun time was over.

"Okay so Travis is in custody for assault and battery of Jeremy Heffington."

"We know that. They got into a bar fight after the Chief's funeral." Miller said.

"That's true. And he doesn't deny it. He's genuinely sorry about it, which is good." Mark replied.

"So what's gonna happen now?" Vic asked Mark and waited.

"The Judge will see him tomorrow afternoon. I will ask for bail. He's respected firefighter with pristine record, it was his first fight. I hope he won't have to stay in custody till the trial."

"And what next?" Sullivan asked his brother.

"He's a firefighter and Judge Connor doesn't take these things lightly. So he probably won't let him go without punishment. But I found out that Mr. Heffington has already been in several bar fights and he's commonly known for drinking a bit too much from time to time."

"You already found out that?"

"Yeah, I made a few calls on my way here." Mark said and noticed his brother was impressed.

"Can that help Travis?" Andy asked.

"I believe it can. I guess you all can vouch for him, right? His character, how he is as a friend and colleague and how well he does his job, stuff like that?"

They all nodded. "Absolutely." Sullivan said then.

"Good. Judge Connor hates paperwork so I'm gonna prepare something for all of you to sign, okay? And I'm gonna need some records from you as his boss, Rob."

"No problem." Sullivan told his brother who smiled at him.

"I know you all would want to see him leave the custody and be free but I'm afraid there will have to be some sort of punishment. But I don't think Travis will end up in jail, okay?"

Everyone nodded and looked relieved.

"What can we do?" Vic asked.

"Sign the paper. If – or better when they ask you to testify, don't lie. It never pays off. Be honest. That's what counts. With his record and after recent events including the death of his husband and the injury in the skyscraper fire and losing the Chief I have a lot of cards to play in my hand. Plus Rob," he said and looked at Sullivan, "if you can give me list of possible penalties or retributions you have here in the department, I could use some of those. I think that if I offer the judge an alternative it might serve the purpose and along with some community service or partial suspension it could be all."

"It's still not fair." Vic said.

"No, it's not. But he made a mistake. And I will do my best to get him out of it but I need to be prepared for the possibility he'd have to pay for it."

Vic nodded but looked sad.

"I take it you're Vic."

"Yeah. Why?"

"He gave me this for you." Mark said and handed her folded paper. "He said you were his best friend."

"I am."

"He's gonna need you all." Mark told them.

"Can we go to the trial or something to support him?" Gibson asked then.

"No. I already asked but the Judge is closing it. I suppose he doesn't want two units from Seattle FD getting into a fight in his courtroom." Mark told them and it made sense.

"I need you all to stay calm and let me do my work, okay?"

They all nodded.

"Thank you." Vic said and he smiled at her.

"I'll do my best. I promise." Mark told her.

"Will you have pizza with us?" Sullivan asked his brother.

"No, thanks. Maybe another time. I need to go home to Jane."

"I'll walk you out."

"Have a good night people." Mark told them all and they all said their goodbyes.

Sullivan walked him downstairs. Mark gave him list of documents he would need tomorrow for the court.

"I'm glad you called."

"I should have called sooner and not just because of this." Sullivan told his brother.

"Don't be a stranger, little brother." Mark asked and he nodded.

"I won't."

"I'll stop by in the morning to give you everything."

"Sure. Thanks. Tell Jane I said hi, okay?"

"I will. And once you have time will you come for lunch or something?"

"I promise." Sullivan told his brother and closed the door behind him once he left.

Taking a deep breath he walked back upstairs. His people were talking about Travis and the whole thing. They didn't stop when he came back which was new. And so he just sat down, next to Andy as it was the last free chair.

He joined the talk and soon the topic shifted and he was just there with them eating pizza and talking every now and then. He was more listening than talking, getting to know his people better.

"Okay everyone I have something else to tell you."

"Sir?" Gibson asked as he noticed how uneasy Sullivan looked.

"Back in L.A. something happened." He started and it took all his willpower not to look at Andy. "When we were running from the fire I most probably hurt my leg. At first it was just a cramp, I thought it was okay but earlier today I experienced sharp pain and then I lost all feeling in my leg. I couldn't move it."

And when he got to that point he was looking directly at Andy. And seeing her face he knew he just screwed up for the second time. He wanted to tell her before telling others. But he didn't have the opportunity. And so he added one more apology to his list of apologies to do – to say to her.

"I'm sorry, Sir. Did you see a doctor?" Maya asked him, actually feeling worried. Also her mind was running a hundred as she guessed what was the reason why her Captain had sent Andy away. Instead of telling her he told her to go. She would probably do the same. It was hard to show a weakness after being alone and after being used to being alone for so long.

"Yeah, I called my doc in Grey Sloan and already had an appointment. I'm scheduled for couple of tests and till all the results are complete I'm not allowed on calls. I called my boss and so far I can be here at the Station, doing desk job, running reception at least. But I can't drive as it's impossible to say if it's going to happen again or not."

"That sucks." Gibson said and Sullivan could only agree.

"Luckily I have three Lieutenants here so I believe you can handle the calls without me. And I already put things in motion in case I won't be allowed back to active duty. I made sure there will be no outsiders coming to run this place."

They all looked at him and actually felt sad about this news.

"But there's a chance you'll be okay, right?" Hughes asked worried. She just started to like him, there was no way she was about to like another Captain. Not after everything they all have been through.

"I hope so, yeah. And so far my doc didn't find anything that would suggest otherwise. Her guess is that I damaged a neuropath in my leg. I got some pills and we'll know more after the tests."

"Okay. So at least something." Hughes replied and they all showed their support. After a moment of silence they began talking about the new Aid Car the crews had in L.A. and how it would be nice to get something new from time to time. And soon the conversation was flowing like before.

Sullivan risked a glance at Andy every now and then but she seemed lost in thought. She was taking part in the conversation but even when she smiled it didn't reach her eyes. And he was the one to blame for it. And he hated himself for it.

Once the pizzas were eaten Miller looked around.

"What?" Maya asked him.

"I'm thinking about coffee."

"Hmmm and cake." Gibson supplied.

"Now that's an idea." Vic said with a smile. She could definitely use something sweet.

"Well I'm heading home." Warren told them. "They're waiting for me. And I really need to be at home with them now."

"Sure. Night, Warren." Sullivan said.

"Night, Ben." Others told him too and he left. He enjoyed the time with his friends but he felt down and worn out and he needed his wife and kid. He had to admit that Sullivan surprised him more and more. Ever since the accident it seemed he chose to take his life differently. And it was good. He was a good man. And the way he stood up for him today? He could definitely appreciate that. Having boss like that counted – a lot.

When he left Gibson with Miller started to make coffee and Maya with Hughes searched the fridge for something sweet.

"I'd swear there was the triple chocolate cake here."

"Yeah but that was before we left for L.A."

"Oh. Damn. True." Hughes said, totally disappointed. "So what, cookies?"

"Nah, that's not the same."

"What about the bakery at the corner? Is it too late?"

"Yeah, already closed."

"So it's just coffee then. Or with cookies."

Vic put two packs of different cookies she found on the table and turned around to help the guys with coffee.

Andy was sitting silently next to Sullivan, desperately trying to figure out what to say. But there was nothing on her mind. And he seemed to be at loss of words as well. When Hughes handed him coffee he thanked her. He would have gotten it himself. She handed a cup to Andy as well and then took her own.

They all sat down and relaxed a bit.

Andy felt the heat from his leg next to hers. She would swear she felt it. And she was shocked at how desperately she wanted to reach over and touch him. Little she knew he was fighting the same battle. She was still trying to wrap her head around the information he gave them. His leg… was it really all about his leg? Then why didn't he say something to her instead of telling her to leave?

He hurt himself while trying to save her life in L.A. That trip surely screwed them all up.

"I didn't even know you had a brother, Sir." Bishop said and it made Andy look up. She needed to pay more attention. This was not the place to get lost in thought. And certainly in this kind of thought.

"He's my half brother. His mother died when he was a kid and his father met my mother. They got married and had me." Sullivan said and it surprised him how easily it went.

"He seems nice." Andy said.

"He is."

"And I'm sure he has more stories about you to share." Hughes supplied with a smile and had to bite back a giggle when she noticed the horrified look of her boss.

"I wasn't sure he'd come. We haven't exactly been in touch."

"Why?" Andy asked after a moment of hesitation. She pretended not to see Maya's eyes glued to her.

"When my wife died it was difficult. In that one day I lost a wife and best friend. I was in a dark place. And instead of taking the help he offered I moved to Montana." He looked at his people and appreciated they didn't say anything. Hughes looked a bit sad now though.

"I totally understand." She said then.

"What changed?" Gibson asked.

"Well you know, diving a cliff in Aid Car changes you." He said half jokingly and they all got the point.

"It sure does, Sir." Miller told him. Sullivan looked at him and Miller risked it. "You changed, Sir."

"I did."

"We didn't exactly welcome you with open arms here."

"I didn't expect you to. And I was hard on you."

"No kidding." Gibson said and then realized what he just said. But Sullivan didn't say anything.

"I could transfer after the accident. They offered it to me."

"They what?" Andy didn't see that coming. "Why? Did you want to?"

He looked at her, into her eyes and saw the pain that briefly appeared in those beautiful orbs before she put her poke face back on.

"No, I didn't. As I said, that accident changed a lot. I'm here now because I think it's a privilege. Not just a duty. You gained my respect." When he started with this little speech he was looking at Andy but it was too much so he looked at the others as well.

"As for me that feeling is mutual, Sir." Gibson said. Sullivan nodded in understanding.

"Yeah, same for me." Miller added. It took him time to understand his new boss but seeing him now and knowing how far he would go to help his people, he could admit that the man has changed indeed. And for the better.

Sullivan excused himself, he needed to get the papers ready for his brother. And this was getting way too intense.

They finished their coffees and one by one they got up.

"See you tomorrow." Gibson said. "Bishop, you coming too?"

Maya looked at Andy and when Andy nodded briefly, Maya looked at Gibson. "Yeah. Night everyone. See you tomorrow."

"Night." Miller told them as they left. "I'll head home too. It's been a long day."

"Yeah, me too. I have cold ramen waiting for me and a letter from jail to read." Bishop said. "Do you need help here?" She asked Andy.

"No, go home, get some rest. I'll clean up."

"Okay. Night."

And so Andy found herself alone in the beanery. She took care of the pizza boxes, leftovers, cups and everything. It gave her time to think. But she was none the wiser. She turned the lights off and left. She needed all the courage she could find in herself to go right downstairs and knock on her Captain's door.


	5. Andy

_And now what you've been waiting for. I hope I am true to the characters. I really don't like it when stories are completely off. I like to write in a way that could be part of the series. So hopefully you're all happy once you read this. Let me know what you think. It took me a long time (and several repeatedly deleted pages) to put this chapter together._

* * *

Andy knocked twice but there was no answer.

Of course there was no answer. It took her so long till she actually knocked and it was just so typical that there would be no answer. They couldn't reach each other on the phones and the only talk they had was with the rest of the crew.

Why did she even bother? Why did she even try? Standing by the door she took a deep breath and knocked again. She needed to bite the bullet. She needed to know.

"Captain?" She called but still no answer. With a heavy feeling on her chest she opened the door. It was dark inside, the only light coming in was from the outside as the blinds weren't closed. Andy walked in and stopped in the middle of the room.

She liked that room. It was so elegant and strong. She liked the way it looked now without the stuff her father used to have there. Not that it was bad but this was different and she actually really liked it. She couldn't put her finger on it but she felt so at peace here.

Plus of course she had a lot of memories about this place. Well better said a lot of memories about her and Sullivan. And those were making her feel all sorts of emotions right now.

She remembered the way she used to feel here, when it was all tense and she needed to take a deep breath every time she had to come inside. She remembered how it changed after Sullivan asked her to help him to get to know the team better. How they overcame little by little all the awkwardness. She remembered how sad that place was when he was in the hospital after the accident. It was depressing somehow despite the fact her father was back. She would just sit there when nobody else was around, trying to wrap her mind around the whole thing.

Oh all those arguments and silly moments, all the smiles and brief conversations. These walls saw a lot.

And she would probably never forget the first dinner she had with her Captain here. As she came to talk to him and they ended up having dinner together. And they were talking about bright spots. Was he her bright spot? Really? She used to hate his presence here and now she couldn't imagine the place without him.

It was difficult to admit but Sullivan's presence made her a better person, better officer. Maybe they didn't start on the best terms but things progressed and they both changed and now? Well she wished she knew where they stood now.

She looked around for her belt but couldn't find. Great.

Sullivan came back to his office and noticed the opened door. At first he got worried but then noticed Andy standing in the middle of the room. Silently he walked inside and leaned against the wall. It was actually the same exact spot where he sat with her in his arms when they stumbled inside, kissing, touching, the same spot where he tasted the skin on her neck and she moaned – which was a sound he would never forget.

At first he was tempted to keep watching her as she was looking around but then decided against it. He didn't need any more reasons to apologize for. Besides he was pretty sure what she was looking for.

"It's in the top drawer in my desk." He said in the end and regretted it instantly as Andy didn't hear him come in and when he spoke she stumbled and almost fell.

"God, you spooked me!" She told him.

"I didn't mean to." He said softly. "Go ahead, it isn't locked." He motioned for his desk. Andy nodded and made couple of steps but then stopped, turned, leaned against the desk and looked at him, forgetting about her belt.

And so they were standing there, watching each other silently. She knew he was giving her space but she wasn't sure she needed that. What she needed was a conclusion. Among else.

"I'm mad at you." She said. All the fury and anger was gone. She was calm. Her voice was full of emotions though and he heard them all.

"I know. You have every right to be." He answered and sounded equally emotional.

"You hurt me."

"I never meant to."

"But you did. And you humiliated me."

"Andy…"

"You rejected me. You made me feel like a fool." And both the tone of her voice and her posture were changing little by little.

"I didn't mean to."

"But you did! After everything that happened between us!" And she was getting fierce. "You just told me to go. Just like that. And I walked for hours!"

"You what?" He asked only partially following her trail of thoughts.

"I walked for hours and I felt so horrible. Because of you. Because I trusted you and you… you…" And she was mad and tried to argue but had no more words.

Sullivan was sitting still but he was now equally worked up.

"I didn't want to hurt you! I regretted it the moment you left."

"I left because you told me to!"

"Because I couldn't move!" He argued back.

"That's no excuse." She said stubbornly. "You could have told me."

"I panicked." He admitted.

"You what?" She asked disbelievingly.

"I panicked, okay? I didn't even think you would…" And he stopped as he needed to find the right words. Of course Andy understood it wrongly.

"So it's my fault?"

"What? No." He shot back and watched her looking furious and … hurt.

"I am sorry, Andy. I really am."

"That's not enough. You owe me more than that." She told him her voice thick with emotions. She started to pace around that room and he knew it was up to him. Now or never.

"I owe you an apology. And explanation. So will you hear me out?" He asked sensing her impatience. He couldn't blame her though.

"Okay. Yeah. So tell me." She told him, standing by the window, arms folded over her chest protectively.

"I have never imagined you would actually make that move. I value our friendship and I didn't want to lose it. That's why I wanted to explain what happened in that pool." He started and so far she was silent and waiting for more.

"So? What happened in that pool?" She prompted.

"I slipped. I know how fast wildfires can change and how dangerous they are. I thought I was going to lose you." He said and she looked him in the eye.

"You saved me in that wildfire. You saved my life."

"No, we saved each other."

"I wanted to thank you for what happened in that pool. You kept me sane. I was scared and panicking and you kept me grounded."

"Andy…"

But she just turned away from him, looking out of the window again. And he knew he just barely scratched the surface. He did hurt her pretty bad when he told her to leave. He knew. It hurt him equally as much to watch her go.

"So that's all it was?" She asked then, half mad and half curious. She was actually surprised about the way this conversation took.

"You know it wasn't."

"No, I don't. Because you sent me the hell away!" She was back to being furious.

"I had to!"

"No, you didn't! You could have told me the truth!"

"I couldn't."

"No, you couldn't. Your ego wouldn't survive it, hm?" Oh she was mad. He was about to reply, equally furious now because he didn't imagine their talk being like this – well on the other hand what did he expect?

"You could have told me it was your leg. I would have understood."

"I said I panicked, Andy. I wasn't thinking straight."

"I don't get it."

"No?"

"No!"

"I almost lost you in a wildfire! I touched your face in a damn L.A. pool in a way that was more than just inappropriate and when I wanted to try to apologize you surprised me because you did something I didn't have the courage to do." He was talking fiercely and it had her glued to the spot and listening. He stood up and she realized how tall he was – and impressive.

"I didn't even dare to hope you would take that step. And when you did and made it pretty clear you really wanted this, I…"

"You screwed up." She jumped in and he just glared at her.

"Yeah, I screwed up. I'm not used to showing weakness. And especially in front of a woman I care about and want to impress." He added and realized they were standing face to face. "I didn't want you to see me as broken man again!" He said and his voice was thick with emotions, his heart was hammering in his chest. He needed to take a breath.

"So when I finally could move again I called you. I called four times. You didn't pick up. I know I screwed up and I wanted to apologize but you didn't give me a chance. And then when you finally called I was just with Montgomery."

"I figured that much." She said a bit calmer than couple of minutes ago. "I didn't pick up as I thought I did something wrong. I thought you changed your mind and I didn't know why. I felt so stupid. It hurt too much. I needed time." She said and he nodded.

"I understand." He said sadly and took a step back to give her space.

"Woman you care about?" She asked couple of long minutes later when she calmed down a bit. She also turned and looked at him as he was sitting in his chair behind the desk, turned to the window, watching her.

"You're the first woman I actually care about ever since I lost my wife." He said finally. "So I really am sorry for hurting you the way I did but I didn't want to mess it up. You're too important to me."

Was really the man they all called Captain Fire Grinch opening up to her about his feelings – feelings he had for her? It shocked Andy as she didn't see that coming. Should there be a mirror she would probably see her shocked face, round eyes and mouth open. Did he just…?

Sullivan knew he just crossed the line. Making out with her was one thing, they could blame the adrenalin rush from near-death experience. But telling her this was something else. He probably made a fool of himself though.

Andy's inner battle between her reason and heart was a tough struggle. She didn't want to forgive him as he had hurt her a lot but seeing him like this and hearing him say that she was feeling very deep conflicted emotions.

So she did the only thing that made sense. She followed her instinct. Screw the logic.

She took a step closer to him and then another and when she was standing toe to toe with him she leaned down and kissed him. It took him by surprise but soon he caught up and stood up. Bringing her closer to him he held her close and as he touched her face the same way as before she just melted into him.

He turned them around, leaning against the desk with Andy standing between his legs. This kiss was different from the one in the morning. For both of them. Especially after the argument – and talk – they just had.

When they finally parted she looked him in the eyes. He was bearing his soul for her to see and have no doubts. He might be a man of few words but to her he was beginning to be an open book. With his walls down he was one of the most caring and passionate people she has ever met.

Was she ready for this kind of honesty? Yesterday she would say no. But after living one day with her heart cracked and her feelings exhausting her to the bone she knew the answer despite how stupid that was given the fact he was her Captain.

He stayed where he was and so she just hugged him. She had a feeling he needed it as much as she did. It was a nice hug she truly enjoyed. He was tall and she felt safe and hidden from the world in his arms.

Was she really falling for her Captain? Damn, Maya was right.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked as like he could have read her mind.

"Maya."

"Bishop?" He asked back not really following.

"Yes. She was right."

"About what?"

"About us. She thought we were an item when she saw us holding hands in the hospital but I told her she was crazy. But it seems… she was right."

"Andy…" He said her name softly, almost lovingly. They needed to talk more about this. She looked up at him then.

"How do I even call you?" She asked suddenly and it took him by surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's always either Captain or Sir."

"Oh. Well, I don't know. Whatever you like."

"As long as it's not Robbie huh?" She teased him and he actually laughed. She felt herself smiling at him. It felt so good to be in his arms and hear him laugh, see him smile.

"Robert." She tried and as they were so close she noticed how his eyes darkened. So maybe she was on the right track there.

He put her hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch. "I'm still mad at you, you know." She said then.

"I know." He admitted and just held her. And so they stood there together in the darkened room and both were tired but little less hurt and angry than through the day.

"You're my boss." She spoke finally, pointing out the fact that kept on troubling her. "What if…"

"What?"

"What if this turns out to be a bad idea? Could you still work with me?" Andy asked concerned. "I'm home here at 19 and I can't imagine transferring anywhere else." She told him honestly.

"Well you already work with your ex and it's okay… so…" He half teased. She punched him in the arm for it not as gently as she thought she would.

"You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"Well that day was full of surprises." He replied hoping he didn't go too far. "Anyway we don't know what's going to happen. I might not be fit for active duty. That would surely solve the problem."

He tried to make it sound like a joke but he actually sounded worried and she knew he was. She still remembered how terrified he was when he couldn't walk. And this morning too. This job meant everything to him. She wanted to offer some support and comfort but didn't know how.

"And what if this is a good idea?" He asked then and she didn't know what to say. This question was far more serious as it implied something she wasn't ready to face.

"So what are we going to do?" She asked without answering his question. That was for another time.

"You should go home." He said and before she could start to argue he continued. "You're tired and you need to get some sleep."

"I can stay here."

"Andy…" He tried to tell her something.

"Maybe it's time I ask you about what do you want." She said instead of arguing with him yet again. "So what do you want, Robert?"

Without hesitating he tipped her head and kissed her again and this time he didn't hold back. She lost her equilibrium. That man could kiss.

"So why are you sending me away again?" She was still out of a breath.

"Because if this is a good idea then…"

"Not here?"

"Not here." He agreed. "Go home, Andy. Get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll stay here. Mark will stop by in the morning and as I can't drive it's easier if I sleep here." He explained.

"Okay then. But if something goes wrong you call me." She told him firmly. "Promise me." And they both knew she meant his leg.

"Okay. You have my word." He told her. "Don't forget your belt." He added and she actually blushed remembering the hot morning make out session they had.

She moved away and took her belt out of the top drawer. She then turned around and felt something she hadn't felt in a very long time.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"You will."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him again – just a goodnight kiss – and just because she wasn't sure what the next day would bring and just needed to do it so she wouldn't have to regret being a coward.

"Andy?"

"Yes?"

"I am sorry about this morning." He repeated and she replied "I know".

Knowing she had to go or she would never leave she wished him good night and left his office.

* * *

_So should this be the end or do you want one more chapter to wrap it up a bit?_


	6. Robert

_Wow, thank you for the PMs and reviews. I am happy to know I'm doing this right and that you like it and enjoy the ride with me. So this is the last chapter as I think the storyline is over. But as I'm becoming more and more addicted to this Station 19 universe I think I might write more stories. You happy? As I surely am excited :D_

* * *

Andy arrived home and felt quite at ease. It was strange as in the morning she felt like somebody had punched her in the stomach and now she was somewhat lightheaded. She felt like she could smile freely. Her lips still tangled from their kiss. Who would have thought this man could kiss like that.

Well she was sure he was full of surprises.

Opening the door to her apartment she realized she actually had no idea about where she stood with her Captain. Did they resolve anything?

"Hey." Maya greeted her friend from the couch where she was sitting with Gibson, watching TV.

"Hey."

"You okay?" Maya asked and looked at her curiously.

Andy stopped to take off her shoes and jacket. At first she didn't answer but then she smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"So why are you here so early?" Maya wouldn't let it go.

"Why are you two here?" She asked back.

"Dean got a call from Nikki so…"

"I understand." Andy said then as she could imagine how awkward that would have been.

"So? You're home early." Maya pushed her back on track.

"I'm tired so you know what? I'll head to bed." Andy told her instead of giving her a proper answer.

"What's going on?" Jack asked. Before Andy could say something Maya turned to look back at him.

"That's none of your business, Gibson."

"What do you mean it's none of my business?"

"It's a women's thing." She told him and Andy actually grinned. Oh yeah, it was none of his business for sure. She couldn't even imagine how he would react to this.

"I'm letting you off the hook but you're gonna tell me later." Maya told Andy with a smirk.

"Night."Andy smiled at her knowing well that once she gets the chance Maya will ask for details.

"Night." Both Maya and Jack wished her and watched her go.

Maya was curious like hell about the conversation but from the way Andy looked it seemed they at least talked about the incident from this morning. Gosh she couldn't wait for some details. This was so much fun.

"You're really not going to tell me, are you?" Jack asked Maya.

"Nope."

"Do I have to worry?"

"About what?"

"About Andy." He said and Maya knew he actually would. Those two would probably always be close. It was a bit awkward but knowing them she could accept it. But there were boundaries and she would make sure those were not crossed.

"No, you don't have to worry about her. I've got this." She told him and kissed him before she took back the position by his side to finish the movie they were watching.

Jack wasn't exactly happy , he had a strange feeling about this. But there was nothing he could do. At least those two had each other.

Back in her room Andy lied on her bed and watched the ceiling for a while. She was trying to recall all they said to each other but still she couldn't figure out where they stood.

But what she knew for sure was that she might have a thing for Robert Sullivan – and that the feeling was mutual. Which was scary and yet exciting. So what if he was right? What if becoming something more was actually a good idea?

But could it really be? He was her boss. They worked together. And especially now after Vic and the Chief that was not actually ideal setting. Did she even like him that much to risk all for him? She could lose 19, she could anger her father and lose her friends. On the other hand she could get someone that truly cares about her. He was different from her previous boyfriends, that was for sure. But was he worth it?

Remembering all the moments she cherished in her mind she decided to stop thinking and just wait and see what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

Robert Sullivan lied wide awake in his bunk and wished yet again his best friend was alive. He desperately needed to talk to him. He would have to get used to it. But it was difficult. He could imagine very well what Hughes was going through. And he felt a pang of deep sorrow.

When he lost his wife his world turned dark and there was no light to see. In a couple of weeks he left for Montana, severed all the contact he had with his family and friends, he cut Lucas from his life and never meant to go back. Seattle was a place where his life ended.

And so he worked more, tried harder and soon he was climbing up the ladder on ranks and teaching at the academy, leading his own station in Montana, he travelled quite a lot around the States helping with the recruits. He was tough and he was rough, he made them realize who really had it in him to become a firefighter and who should rather change course.

And never during those years had he thought about coming back to Seattle. Not till he got a call from the Chief. Lucas. He didn't want to pick up but he did. And so he got the offer to come back to Seattle and lead a Station here. He took his time to think about it and when he accepted he didn't think he would stay. He was the ruthless tough Captain 19 needed to get back into shape after everything that happened to them. And he was ready to shape them.

He was so wrong…

Although it was not his intention he actually started to care about the people here. He challenged them and made them work harder and do better and he could see the results soon. One by one they were becoming better firefighters and he felt like he was doing his job well.

He even found the strength to talk to Luke. Briefly at first and with no need to go deeper but he was his boss and so he couldn't avoid him.

Then there was Pruitt Herrera who disliked him since the very first moment – but actually was the one who suggested him for this position as he needed someone to lead his people firmly.

And then he was on that call with Andy and his worst memory hit him square in the chest. That road, that bridge, that spot. That one spot where everything went to hell and he was back there and another woman was lying there on the road. Life had a weird sense of humor.

And before he could comprehend what happened he woke up in the Aid Car and couldn't move his legs. That day changed a lot for him. And not only for him it seemed. It was difficult to tell though. But that storm seemed to change everyone. Along with all those small steps he managed to take the weeks prior the storm he actually started to enjoy working with the people of 19. For the first time in years he had the sense of belonging somewhere. And it was scary.

And now? Now he was lying here awake thinking about Andrea Herrera. She was such a pain in the ass in the beginning, so upset for not getting the Captain's post, so determined to show him he wasn't needed. It took him a lot of willpower and inner strength to find a way how to lead her to be better. And it worked. But it worked a little too well as he found himself drawn to her. So was it him helping her to be better or the other way around?

He groaned in frustration. What the hell was he doing? She was his Lieutenant. He had no right…

But then he remembered how she came into his arms, how she kissed him, touched him, how she moaned… And of course the courage she had to come to him this evening and let him explain. She actually gave him a second chance even though she didn't have to. He had heard before she was one of a kind but it all had bright new perspective now.

So… what if this was a good idea? Could it really work? She was a strong amazing woman. That much he knew. And he liked her. He liked spending time with her. And he started to care – a little too much. Would that be a problem? Well on the other hand he'd been feeling like this for awhile now and it hadn't affected their work. Except the incident in the pool but he refused to think about that. That one didn't count.

Oh Luke would have a good laugh about this. Especially after the talk he gave him about Hughes.

It was late when he finally fell asleep, hoping his leg would be okay and that he would find a way how to get to know Andy better. But he had a feeling she would surprise him anyway.

* * *

In the morning Sullivan was the first at the Station from the day shift. Mark texted him and was on his way. His people would be in soon too.

Changing into his uniform he felt better than in the evening. The uniform gave him borders, lines he wouldn't cross. Well almost never. He wanted to think never but well… he could at least be honest with himself.

Mark came and saw Sully in his office.

"Morning, Rob."

"Morning." He smiled at his brother and got up to meet him. He felt his leg a bit, there was a strange tingling in it but he could feel it and that was good. It also corresponded with what the doctor said about healing neuropaths.

"So here you go. Go through it, sign it, let your people sign as well. I will stop by after lunch."

"Okay, thank you."

"Think nothing of it. It's not over yet." He warned him not to get false hopes up.

"I know. But still. Thank you." He told his brother and Mark just smiled at him.

"Lunch on Saturday? Jane said she'd make your favorite lasagna." Mark suggested and Robert had to grin at that. Did she really remember?

"Sure. That sounds good." He agreed and his brother seemed satisfied.

"You were worried I would say no."

"A little bit, yeah. But I'm glad I was wrong." He admitted and Sullivan couldn't blame him.

"I'll be back later for those papers." Mark reminded him and after a brief chat he left.

Sullivan took the papers to his table and went through them. He signed where he was asked to and had to admit that his brother did a good job. He truly believed Montgomery had a huge chance to win this.

He totally missed his people coming to the Station. So when he got up and walked up to the beanery to leave the paperwork there he was kind of surprised to find everyone there, chatting away, having breakfast together.

"Morning, Sir." Maya greeted him like it was a natural thing for him to be there.

"Morning. Listen people, I have the papers from Mark so I just wanted to leave them here. He'll be back after lunch." He told them and put the folder on the counter so it wouldn't get dirty on the table.

He wanted to leave when Andy turned from the coffee machine.

"Morning, Sir. Coffee?" She asked him then and he didn't know what to answer. He would swear he could feel all the eyes upon him.

"I don't want to intrude." He replied then.

"Waffles?" Hughes asked him and handed him a plate. And so he found himself standing there with cup of coffee in one hand and a plate of waffles in the other.

Well with a deep breath – why was he so worried anyway? – he sat down to a free spot at the table and although it was a bit weird to be there he just stayed.

When everyone was sitting down Gibson looked at him.

"So what about today, Sir? We all know our chores but are you changing anything? How's your leg?" And they all fell silent and waited for him to answer. Sullivan had to swallow first. Could he do this? Could he be the kind of Captain to have breakfast with his people and instead of a line-up talk to them over food?

He looked around swiftly and his look lingered at Andy. She smiled at him over her cup and took a sip of her coffee. And so he answered Gibson.


End file.
